THE 2016 SHIITAKE AWARDS
BACKGROUND: Filmed in Cincinnati, the 2016 Shiitake Awards Show is the ninth installment of the annual show lampooning those who exploit Predator Panic for personal gain.
VIDEO: This video parodied the likely true notion that Russians interfered with the 2016 Presidential Election. Fun fact, the “Russia Consulate” was filmed in the same building as the basement scene in the “Escape from Camp H40” scene in the 2011 Shiitake Awards Show.
Changes from the 2015 Awards Show: This year’s special category pitted two high-profile victim advocates against each other– Lauren Book of Ft Lauderdale FL’s “Lauren’s Kids” (the wicked witch of the South) and Laura Ahearn of Ronkonkoma NY’s “Parents For Megan’s Law” (the wicked witch of the North)
2016 SHIITAKE AWARD WINNERS & NOMINEES
2016 DUMBEST NEW BILL/ LAW
WINNER!
Virginia SB 666
(39.22% of the vote)
This bill bans registered citizens from buying those obnoxious “specialty license plates” that benefit children’s programs. (Sadly, this law actually passed.) This bill affected a whopping 13 license plates.
2016 DUMBEST NEW BILL/ LAW RUNNERS-UP
- Virginia “Robby’s Rule”: Legislation passed and enforced adding 5,604 names to the Virginia Sex Offender and Crimes Against Minors Registry. The so-called “Supplement” to the list includes information on individuals not previously listed who were convicted of certain sexual offenses on or after July 1, 1980, and before July 1, 1994, according to a state police news release [35.29%]
- Florida HB 1179: Fee scale bill that would have forced registrants to pay up to $300 just to visit Florida. (Thankfully the bill died.) [25.49%]
DISHONORABLE MENTION
- Wisconsin AB 666: “Alicia’s Law” this bill will allow the AG’s office to issue “administrative subpoenas” against you under the guise of searching for Internet predators under a lower standard of “reasonable cause.” (Luckily, this law didn’t pass.)
2016 DUMBEST POLITICO
WINNER!
Mass. State Rep. Shaunna O’Connell
(54% of the Vote)
In criticizing a state Supreme Court nominee for stating the registry was “too expansive,” Rep. O’Connell (R-Taunton) argued that the nominee’s stance “render her unfit to serve as a justice.” She took to talk radio and her own online platforms
urging Massachusetts residents to write Governor’s Council members and encourage them to reject Budd’s nomination. Earlier in the year, she claimed, “”The sex offender registry is constantly attacked so that sex offenders can hide.”
2016 DUMBEST POLITICO RUNNERS-UP
- Hector Balderas, New Mexico Attorney General: He and his staff walked out of a legislative session in protest over a bill allowing teen sexters to get off the registry, citing that the NM ICAC would lose funding. At least he admitted it is all about the money! [34%]
- Catherine Hanaway, Missouri Gubernatorial Candidate (lost primary): Blamed “liberal sexual permissiveness” for what she claims is a growing acceptance of CP. [12%]
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
- NY State Sen. Terrance Murphy: Murphy, in promoting residency restrictions in NY, states “The New York State Assembly is playing politics with our kids. Kids that have been victims,” Murphy said. “These are common sense measures that would be absolutely pertinent to make sure that we can protect all of our kids.”
- Jeff Klein & Diane Savino, NY State Senators: “Klavino” wrote the ridiculous report “Pokemon NO,” in which they spent two weeks trying to catch Pokemon near the homes of registered citizens then proclaimed the phone game would be used to lure children to the homes of “sexual predators.”
- NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo: Passed an executive order to ban registered citizens on supervision from playing Pokemon Go or other “augmented reality” video games.
- Dennis Hastert, Former Speaker of the House: Second major politician connected to the Adam Walsh Act connected to illegal sexual activity with minors.
- Steve Hurst, Alabama State Rep.: Has been pushing a mandatory surgical castration bill for nearly a decade, and gets lots of media attention despite the bills going nowhere.
- Sharon Runner, California State Senator: Promoted SB 1021, which would have required CDCR to enforce the voter approved sex offender residency restriction under Jessica’s Law in all counties except San Diego. The bill died not long before she died herself.
- Senator Mark Kirk (R-Ill.): Referred to all registered citizens as “registered pedophiles” while promoting IML and the SAVE Act.
2016 DUMBEST QUOTE
WINNER!
Mass. State Rep. Shaunna O’Connell
(44% of the vote)
Her direct attack on the anti-registry movement; “The sex offender registry is constantly attacked so that sex offenders can hide.”
2016 DUMBEST QUOTE RUNNERS-UP
- Tina Dionne of East Millinocket, Maine: Admits she sees the registry as a form of shame and vengeance. “I didn’t care how much prison time [Cote] got, I wanted him to be on the list for life. I don’t want him to be able to do this to anyone else. No matter where [Cote] goes, people are going to have to know what he did…The sex offender registry helps people be aware of what people like him have done. They can’t just take off to another state and start over. That has to follow them.”[36%]
- Darryn Hinch, Australian Senator: In promoting Australia’s version of IML, Hinch stated, “100,000 convicted sex offenders on the register … the private register, go to Indonesia every year…They’re not going there for the sun, they’re going there for the sons and the daughters. That’s [an issue] that I can get involved in, and they are the sort of thing I want to do.” [20%]
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
- Cindy Del Buono, BOD at Verity: In an Op-Ed at the Press-Democrat compares Brock Turner to the man who killed 49 people in Orlando: “What the stories of Brock Turner, the former Stanford swimmer found guilty of sexual assault, and Omar Mateen, the man responsible for the deaths of 49 people in Orlando, Fla., have in common is a flagrant disregard for humanity. Sexual violence in particular is at epidemic proportions in our society…False reports of sexual assault are rare. Its incidence is the same as other crimes, 2 percent to 8 percent. This means that up to 98 percent of the time, a person stating he or she has been sexually assaulted is speaking the truth…Many who rape are repeat offenders…Each of us may be contributing to a rape culture.”
- Tim Fischer, Nevada: Private “crusader” on a mission to prove registries are inaccurate while inflating the perceived risk posed by everyone on the registry: “When there’s an offender who’s listed as absconder in one state and compliant in another, nine times out of 10, your victim, your survivor, is not going to look at the other record. They’re going to see the one red flag, and they’re going to freak. These are mothers. These are kids like myself who grew up and are literally afraid of what our abusers can do because we know what they did do…Each one of these offenders represents at least one victim,”
- Paul Adkinson, NC Software security developer: Compared registrants to terrorists. “All of these different applications are popping up from everywhere. Whether it is a sexual predator or teens or terrorists, all of them use these messages of communication because they are all point-to-point communications offered by private companies across the world, and they are really difficult to track…You have to make the assumption they are lurking. You have to make the assumption that they are trying to approach kids.”
2016 EVERYDAY ZEROES (VIGILANTE FAILS)
WINNER!
Jeb & Jessica Lessley, Robinwood (Birmingham) AL
(58.82% of the vote)
Posted a billboard in their yard and made many allegations on her registrant neighbor, and possibly involved in a “suspicious” fire at the neighbor’s house. Also, harassing registrants online. In 2017, a relative of these two was arrested and charged with a second arson. Thus, the Lessleys were indeed involved with the arson of a registrant home.
2016 EVERYDAY ZEROES RUNNERS-UP
- Conchita Sarnoff: Wrote a book claiming 1 MILLION children are sex trafficked in the US without any evidence and bashed anyone who challenged her dubious stats. [23.53%]
- Curtis J. Hurt, Kelso WA: Failed at winning a local election because he’s mostly known for forming a wannabe vigilante group called “The Punisher Squad.” [17.65%]
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
- Edgar Maddison Welch, NC: Extreme right-wing conspiracy theorist who terrorized a DC-area pizza chain looking for non-existent sex trafficking victims based on fake news from the Internet.
- Donna Zink, Mesa WA: Successfully sued the state for the right to access information of Level 1 registrants then posted the info publicly.
- Richard Hartian, IL: Called for a boycott of Target Stores because they let transgendered folks use the bathrooms that matched their sexual orientations then proclaimed that was the reason so many registered citizens live within 10 MILES of Target stores.
- Micah David Naziri, OH: Open carry activist who protested Brock Turner’s release by showing up at his house with an assault rifle and making threats and rape jokes.
- Jefferey Crowder, Bloomington IN: Tried to attack a registrant he believed failed to register and gets arrested himself.
- Michaela Naughton, PA: Made headlines for attacking her former coworker, a registrant, through social media, and was kicked off a number of local social media pages for being a jerk about it.
- Nicole O’Kelly, NY: She claimed to have found a “pedophile symbol” of a giveaway toy from a monster truck rally; she actually got her info from an episode of Law & Order: SVU, no joke!
2016 HOLY SHIITAKES
(DUMBEST SO-RELATED STORY OF THE YEAR)
WINNER!
FBI becomes world’s largest CP distributor
(62.75% of the vote)
It’s not distribution when the FBI takes over a CP site and runs it for weeks, apparently. Maybe FBI means Feds Bestowing Illegal images?
2016 HOLY SHIITAKES AWARD RUNNERS-UP
- Washington Supreme Court grants release of Level 1 info to crazy vigilante: It apparently does not matter that Donna Zink is violating state law by disclosing the unlisted Level 1 info publicly, the state Sup Ct feels level ones have no rights. Looks to me like the Court has been hitting the legal weed a bit too much. [27.45%]
- Littlefield TX throws out mail-in ballots of registrants in civil commitment center: If civil commitment is NOT prison, then there was no legal basis to toss out the votes. [9.8%]
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
- Pokemon GO Predator Scare: Gotta Scare’em All! NY and CA conjured up bad legislation out of fear that the Pokemon GO Phone game could be used to lure kids.
- Kansas Supreme Court’s same day flip-flop: Three cases ruled the registry is punitive (aka punishment), later in the day, there was an apparent shift change, and the majority of justices now become the minority and now the registry is NOT punishment. So ultimately the last case applies to everyone but the first three cases only apply to the people in those cases. Confused? Well, so am I.
- Media blitz over man asking for Girl Scout Cookies: Caledonia Police Department notified residents that a man suspiciously was asking two girls if they were selling Girl Scout cookies on Tuesday. “As the intentions of the male are not known, and may in fact be nothing more than what it seems on face value, his actions were suspicious enough for him to contact his police department. Since we were not able to speak with the driver, we do not know if his intentions were as innocent as they appear to be or a ruse for something different,” said the Caledonia Police Department in a release.
- FloriDUH Judge decides 825 year sentence wasn’t enough: A judge sentenced a central Florida man to five years in prison for failure to register as a sex offender. He was already sentenced last summer to 825 years after being found guilty of 55 counts of possession of child pornography. Prosecutors sought to have the additional five years tacked onto the 825 years because there’s always the chance that a sentence could be overturned on appeal.
2016 EDWARD R MORON AWARD
(DUMBEST NEWS MUTT)
WINNER!
Nancy Grace, HLN
(41.18% of the vote)
Nancy Grace is a special kind of stupid, but she officially jumped the shark when she covered the Noah Chamberlin (a TN kid who wandered into the woods and died of hypothermia). Grace’s insistence in wasting police resources harassing registrants was so out of line, even Marc no-Klaas rebuked her.
2016 WORST NEWS MUTT
- Leo Terrell, HLN: Black Lives Matter attorney and friend of OJ Simpson’s family, who attacked a registrant activist Derek Logue on Dr Drew’s show, claiming we want to abolish the registry to go out and commit more crimes. Logue eventually told Terrell to “stick it” on the air. [29.41%]
- Melanie Michael, WFLA: Not only did she write the article about Illuminati “pedo symbols” on Monster truck giveaway toys, she bashed anyone who questioned her approach to the story, claiming her detractors weren’t “patriotic.” [15.69%]
- Larry Huss, OR Catalyst: His article begins like this—“ Are you a sexual deviant? Are you a serial rapist? A child molester? A sexual predator? Well welcome to Oregon, the government has got your back. Have you repeatedly raped a thirteen year old child over a three year period? Well you could be Oregon’s governor.” [13.73%]
DISHONORABLE MENTION
- Sulaiman Abdur-Rahman, The Trentonian: Proclaimed in the first line of his article that thanks to IML, “American pedophiles will have a harder time raping children overseas.”
2016 KEYSTONE KOP OF THE YEAR
WINNER!!!
Carlos Ocasio, Detective, Pasco Co FL Sheriff’s office
(66% of the vote)
Admits to the media the intent of his compliance checks are to scare registrants out of his county, they collect information even on registrants’ family members, and even used Orwellian references in his interview (“Big Brother is watching you.”)
2016 KEYSTONE KOP OF THE YEAR RUNNERS-UP
- Chris Nocco, Sheriff, Pasco Co. FL: Ordered his department to harass registered citizens suing his department in court then trying to cover it up. [28%]
- David Beth, Sheriff, Kenosha Co WI: Actively joined citizen protesters in trying to deter a registered citizen from living in his community {6%]
2016 ICBS NATIONAL CHUMPIONSHIP
(WORST STATE)
WINNER!!!
FLORI-DUH
(82% of the vote)
FloriDUH just elected Lauren Book to a senate seat, gave us news of Illuminati pedophile symbols on kid’s toys, and the corruption of the Pasco Co sheriff’s office. Plus, FloriDUH has a dynasty. They’re the defending champions. It’s FloriDUH! Need I say more?
(This is FloriDUH’s fourth consecutive title and seventh overall)
2016 WORST STATE RUNNERS-UP
- Hog-Washington State: The vigilante scumbag capital of the US gives us two high profile Everyday Zeroes candidates in Donna Zink and Curtis Hart, plus the state’s Supreme Court gave zany Zink the green light to name and shame level 1 registrants. But can this dynamic duo topple the Floridiot legacy? You decide. [12%]
- Virginia is for Losers: Virginia brings SB 666 and Robby’s Rule as weapons to unseat the national champions but is a pair of stupid bills enough to topple the FlorIDIOT dynasty? You decide. [6%]
BONUS CATEGORY: CIVIL WAR -- LAURA AHEARN (NORTH) vs LAUREN BOOK (SOUTH): WHO'S WORSE?
WINNER!!!
WICKED WITCH OF THE NORTH
LAURA AHEARN OF PARENTS FOR MEGAN’S LAW (PFML)
(64.71% of the vote)
Runs “Parents For Megan’s Law” in Suffolk Co. NY; has ties to many powerful and corrupt politicians including disgraced former senator Dean Skelos and disgraced former police chief James “The Porn King” Burke (who may even be the Gilgo Beach serial killer); runs the ONLY private victim advocacy group in the USA that conducts compliance checks, a function of law enforcement; Her organization uses this contract as an excuse to harass registered citizens under the guise of “compliance checks”; Routinely sues registered citizens who challenge her regime, including the owner of this award show; is responsible for the persistent “100,000 missing sex offenders” myth; has also caused homelessness in her community by diverting funding away from shelters towards her compliance check operations; routinely dips into taxpayer funds for “funding” her operations after her organization’s liability insurance went from $4500 to $25,000 per year.
RUNNER-UP!
WICKED WITCH OF THE SOUTH
LAUREN BOOK of LAUREN’S KIDS
(35.29% of the vote)
Daughter of powerful and corrupt lobbyist Ron Book; law named after her forced hundreds of registered citizens in Miami into homeless camps including the infamous Julia Tuttle Causeway camp; raised $750k from Ron’s political cronies to run unopposed to win a FL state senate seat; Her father runs Lauren’s Kids, a victim group named after her; wrote a kid’s book named after herself, “Lauren’s Kingdom”; Had a portion of a major highway in Broward Co named after her; makes false allegations about her detractors including claiming one molested a little boy when he didn’t.
Now a useless state senator who won her seat by default after the state gerrymandered her district.