The 2011 Shiitake Awards

Background: The 2011 Shiitake Awards was the 4th year for the event. The show was filmed in Cincinnati.

Video: In this video, I lampooned the dreadful story of the registrant concentration camp proposed by vigilante Barbara Harris, a
“housing” program she called H4O (Housing 4 Offenders, a name Farris had “borrowed” from another organization). I also
lampooned a news story claiming Banderas, Texas was the new “sex offender haven.” I was allowed to use an abandoned property
to film part of the skit, while other parts of the video were shot in my apartment (Including the Banderas video) and around the
outside of the apartment.

Changes from the 2010 Awards: The bonus category of the year concerned the strange names law enforcement create when
conducting compliance checks. This was also the first year SurveyMonkey was used to collect the surveys (previous years used the
polls options found on the Google Blog).



Heidi Hemmet of Fox 31 Denver
(20.99% of votes)

Hemmet helped getting a registrant
fired from his job as a cook at a
Dairy Queen thanks to her yellow
journalism article titled “Sex Offender
serving ice cream at DQ.”


  1. Jeanette Krebs, Penn Live (19.75%): Her article starts out with, “Anyone in Pennsylvania who cares about children should be
    outraged…Anyone should be able to go online and not only see a list of those registered and their crimes, but where they live.”
    This fluff piece lies to the people, suggesting that transient offenders are dodging registration requirements, she is in FOOL
    support of the Adamn Walsh Act. “So although legislation to fix the loopholes overwhelmingly passed the House and, in the
    past, the Senate, it might stall again, even though there is no ideological, political or faith-based fight on the back end as there
    is with Marcellus Shale fees, liquor store privatization, abortion clinic regulations or school vouchers. This should be an easy
    one for the General Assembly. The fixes help keep our children safe, they are supported by every law enforcement official in
    the state, and they don’t cost additional money.”
  2. Kerry Dougherty of the Virginian-Pilot (13.58%): Doughtery wrote an article on Nov. 30, 2010 entitled “Special laws
    protecting sex offenders are an insult.” Doughtery states that the disclaimer warning people that abusing the public registry
    should be abolished because it is “unneeded,” and then she describes a vigilante story (where a registrant was run over by a
    car) that gives the very reason why the abuse of registry law exists in the first place.
  3. Karen Grace, KENS 5, San Antonio TX (12.35%): The self-professed “news diva” helped crate panic in Bandera Co TX with
    her claims that a secret society of sex offenders are telling registrants to move to Banderas.
  4. Charles Cully Stimson, Heritage Foundation (9.88%): Nominated for his unwavering support of the Adam Walsh Act,
    carelessly denying the law is unfunded, offers anecdotal evidence the law is effective, and uses irrelevant arguments to
    support the poorly written law.
  5. Dave Summers of WKYC-3 Cleveland (8.64%): A registrant was being harassed by neighbors so much, he installed security
    cameras. So Summers puts his own spin on the story, suggesting the cameras were for a different reason, despite admitting
    the cameras were installed by landowner’s orders.
  6. Mike Beaudet, Fox 25 News Boston (8.64%): Another news mutt trying to get a former offender fired from his job, claiming
    a sex offender is a building supervisor with unlimited access to potential victims, while in reality he’s simply a maintenance
    man with limited access to the building.
  7. Jessica Fargen of the Boston Herald (3.7%): In “Sex fiends sheltered by loopholes,” the Boston Herald shows why they are the
    worst major news outlet; “An untold number of convicted sexual predators who claim to be sleeping at homeless shelters are
    going unaccounted for nightly — roaming the Hub under police radar — thanks in part to a legal loophole that has residents
    sounding alarm.”
  8. Ryan Simms of KIMA-TV29 (2.47%): Like Jessica Fagan, Simms sounds the fear mongering alarm with more scare tactics,
    claiming a law passed that only calls for one mugshot to be taken is called a “legal loophope” he suggested was exploited by
    sex offenders. “KIMA Uncovers Sex Offender Loophole.”


Lisa Riniker, Grant Co. WI DA
(60.23% of the total vote)

Riniker was sued over prosecuting a six year old boy for sexual
assault after he was caught playing doctor; she obtained a gag order
to prevent the parents from speaking publicly about the case. She
bypassed the parents and sent a court summons directly to the kid
(threatening to lock him up if he doesn’t show up), and is even
demanding the kid sign an admission of guilt.


  1. Mike DeWine, Ohio Attorney General (23.86%): As he rolled out a new plan to protect Ohio kids from sex offenders,
    Attorney General Mike DeWine described predators as “clowns,” “scum” and even “jackasses.” “They’re literally out there like
    sharks and they’re going to hit just as fast as they can.” Then he rolled out a list of distorted stats.
  2. Ken Oswalt, Licking County OH prosecutor (6.82%): Oswalt is appealing an Ohio Supreme decision that voided his
    conviction of a 12 year old boy who apparently had mutually consensual sex with an 11 year old boy.
  3. Matt Rodriguez, Lebanon OH city councilman (4.55%): He makes the list for complaining taxpayer dollars are “wasted” on
    giving assistance to a disabled person because he is on the sex offender list.
  4. Cal Ludeman, MN ex-gov Tim Pawlenty aide and Commissioner of Human Services (4.55%): Ludeman screwed the public
    and registrants alike when he edited an official report on Minnesota’s sex offender treatment programs to reflect Pawlenty’s
    views on the subject, which denied the benefits of treatment and suggested lengthy prison sentences.


Judge T. Jordan Gallagher,
16th Judicial District court judge, Illinois
(40.74% of the vote)

In ruling on a case where a low level registrant was
serving as coach of a youth baseball team, Judge
Gallagher sentences the man to electronic home
monitoring,Gallagher gives us this comment: “You are a
sex offender and there are rules, and whether you like
them or not, you’ve got to follow them. You’re a
second-class citizen and will be for the rest of your
life.” Gallagher died in June 2011.


  1. Matt Kanai, general counsel for law enforcement for the Ohio state attorney general’s office (20.99%): Kanai stated in an
    interview that RSOs are viewed as people who will likely attack again, so keeping tabs on them and providing their locations to
    the public is a service. “Sex offenders do tend to operate in their neighborhood. Crimes like murder aren’t neighborhood
    specific. They are not necessarily looking at everyone that’s mowing their yard or walking down the sidewalk as their next
    potential victim,” Kanai said. “Murders happen in the heat of the moment or in a bar or liquor store. Those people aren’t
    thinking when I see people walking down the street I want to go murder that person, but sex offenders we do have that
    concern, that every person is a potential victim.”
  2. Tuscumbia AL police Chief Tony Logan (12.35%): A sheriff with a prior DUI conviction, in speaking about sex offender bans
    during Halloween: “I know parents are concerned and it’s a concern for law enforcement… There are a couple of times a year
    I refer to as a pedophile’s dream come true. This is one of those times.”
  3. Knox County TN Mayor Tim Burchett (11.11%): In passing a ban of registrants from public libraries, Burchett stated, “The
    time to shut the barn doors is before the cows get out. After you have an event where there is an abduction or a kid molested
    in a bathroom, it’s too late… I’m kind of sick of this notion that we have to offer equal access to things, they can still access
    everything on a computer or have other people check books out…I don’t know what they’ve pled down to… What about the
    rights of the innocent children whose lives have been ruined? What about the innocent woman who has been raped? What
    about their rights?”
  4. Manda Hicks, Bandera Co. TX Sheriff’s Office (11.11%): In spreading a myth of a sex offender network telling people where
    they can move to in order to dodge laws, “They might be communicating with each other… So we are trying to find out if
    there’s a sex offender network.”
  5. Patrick H. Head, Cobb Co. GA prosecutor (3.7%): In a Faux News Article regarding states spending four times as much on
    incarceration than education, Dick, er, Pat Head throws out this quote: “I think you could spend an unlimited amount of
    money on education and it will never eliminate crime. We have crime committed by people that have no respect for human
    life; we have crimes committed by people who have no respect for property.” He went on to say, “[criminals] will use that
    education and they will use that intellect in order to commit their crimes.”


Anthony Weiner
Ex-New York Democratic Congressman
(34.52% of the Vote)

Weiner boasted of passing the controversial “KIDS Act of
2008″ targeting alleged online sexual predators, while
getting caught for sending nasty pics of himself online,
including a 17 year old girl. He is set to be released from
prison in 2018 but will be forced to register as a “sex
offender” upon his release.


  1. Anthony V. Mangione, the head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement in South Florida (26.19%): How ironic the head of
    ICE in South Florida is under investigation after AOL turned him in for allegedly downloading kiddie porn? Actually, its South
    Florida. I’m not surprised.
  2. US Rep. David Wu, (D-OR) [16.67%]: Recently accused of making unwanted sexual advances towards women, Wu has
    boasted about his role in passing the AMBER alerts and called for mandatory life sentences for repeat sex offenders. He is
    blaming his behavior on mental illness.
  3. Arifinto, member of Indonesia’s Islamic Prosperous Justice Party (13.1%): This staunch anti-pornography politician passed a
    highly controversial law in 2008; The law calls for prison terms of up to 15 years and fines for everything from kissing in
    public and exposure of a woman’s “sensual” body parts to displaying “erotic” artworks. Broadcasting, possessing and storing
    pornographic material also is prohibited. However, he was caught watching porn on his computer during legislative session.
  4. Arnold “The Gropinator” Schwarzenegger, ex-Governor of California (9.52%): In office, AHnold signed Jessica’s Flaw and
    Chelsea’s Flaw into office. So it is no surprise that AHnold has been caught in a sex scandal, impregnating his housemaid, and
    has left office on a sour note. Now his marriage is about to be Terminated.

2011 EVERYDAY ZEROES (Vigilante Fails)

WINNER: David Rowe of Orange Park FL
(25.88% of the Vote)

Floridiot who harasses registrants both online and in real life through his
Jacksonville-based vigilante group “No Peace For Predators.”

He gained notoriety for taking his vigilante group to the house o a
registered citizen to threaten him in front of law enforcement officials
after the registrant bought an ice cream truck. Months later, he ran to the
news media, complaining he was attacked by a group of individuals he
had harassed online. The media report, however, pointed out he had
recently been arrested for an assault.


  1. Barbara Farris of Florida (22.35%): Last year’s Everyday Zero Winner is back, pimping a failed reality show called Bzz!
    Busted, and is currently trying to scam registrants with her fake RSO Housing service called H4O.
  2. Daniel R. Narron of Hopewell, VA (20%): Was arrested and charged with attempted murder, attempted malicious wounding
    by mob, hit-and-run driving and misuse of the sex offender registry, and only got 11 months!
  3. Corey M. Wright of California (15.29%): An ex-con convicted of GTA and drug charges who also runs “Predator Magazine,”
    a dime store rag that features registrants. He’s violating CA law by selling registry info and advertising slots in this rag, plus
    he’s a woman-hater to boot.
  4. Michael Hill of Huntsville, AL (10.59%): Borrowed the Westboro Baptist playbook by posting up “God Hates Rapists,” trying
    to chase a neighbor out of town
  5. Danielle Schneider of Washington State (3.53%): Created a blog harassing a teen she alleges touched her teen, and got sued
    for her trouble. Sadly, she got money and free legal assistance despite being financially wealthy.
  6. Johnny “Northside” Hoff of Minneapolis, MN (2.35%): Another idiot crime blogger who wants his own reality show while
    dodging lawsuits for his bad blog

(Worst SO-Related Story)

WINNER: Ector County TX fires woman for marrying a sex offender
(24.71% of the Vote)

An Odessa woman is suing the county after she lost her job. The
reason she was fired? She married a man on the public registry.
Though she worked as a juvenile probation officer, her husband had
absolutely no contact with the teens.


  1. Idaho Republicans protest the reading of a sex offender bill (21.18%): Midway through the afternoon, House Minority Leader
    Representative John Rusche (D-Lewiston) asked for a full reading of a 29-page Senate Bill dealing with sex offender
    registration. Immediately, many chairs emptied on the floor. After a few pages, Republicans started speaking out. “Mr.
    Speaker, I protest this,”
  2. Barbara Farris’s proposed sex offender gulag (20%): For claiming she was going to open a sex offender camp in Sorrento FL,
    leading to panic and a 2500 foot residency ban against all former offenders
  3. Evan Emory gets 60 days for silly YouTube video (11.76%): Evan Emory will spend 60 days in jail and two years on
    probation for posting a video online that made it appear that he was singing a sexually explicit song to first-graders (he wasn’t,
    it was an edited video)
  4. Carole Markin sues, claiming she was raped by a sex offender (10.59%): Carole Markin is the “Jane Doe” in the alleged rape case. Markin’s identity was revealed by Markin herself; in grand fashion, she sent out a press release
    where she calls herself “the Erin Brockovich of internet dating.” Though she claimed she was not suing for money, she was
    gaining publicity for her story. Was it a coincidence she had a series of books about bad dating experiences?
  5. Video Pornographer Barbie (5.88%): Usually, in any story involving Barbie, she’s the air-headed bimbo, but this time,  REAL
    airheads are the FBI agents who sent out worries this toy will be used by child pornographers to spy on kids or make CP
  6. Karen Spears Zacharias, Christian Author and 700 Club guest, outs registrant for commenting on her blog, thinks seeking help
    for her issues is “creepy”  (5.88%)


WINNER: Texas Law allows Department of Family and Protective Services allows
caseworkers to add your name to the sex offender registry without a trial:
(33.33% of the vote)

This law is so messed up, State Rep. John Zerwas, R-Katy, had to propose a bill, HB 1194,
which would allow suspected abusers greater due process to challenge their inclusion in the
registry. Before a name goes into the database, Zerwas wants the accused to be properly
notified, have a copy of the record and access to swift appeal to a state administrative hearing
judge. Even the exonerated were added to the list.


  1. Florida’s HB 251, the “Walk in Their Shoes Act” (a.k.a. the Lauren Book Act) [25%]: What makes this bill dangerous is that
    this bill allows prior convictions or accusations to be admitted as evidence in trial, which all but guarantees a former offender
    will not get a fair trial. It also denies access to evidence in child porn accusations, which will bar defense attorneys from
    presenting adequate defense.
  2. Missouri’s Hallowed Grounds Act will ban sex offenders from burial in national cemeteries [21.43%]: The “Hallowed Grounds
    Act,” introduced by Republican Rep. Vicky Hartzler, would prohibit an individual who is classified as a Tier III sex offender
    under the Sex Offender Registration Act from being buried at a veterans or national cemetery.
  3. AL HB 378, Alabama’s SORNA Act [17.86%]: Adds registry fees, requires more often registration, expects day laborers to
    register daily workplaces, weekly re-registration of homeless, and GPS
  4. Missouri’s Amy Hestir Student Protection Act [2.38%]: The new law states that teachers “cannot establish, maintain or use a
    work-related website unless it is available to school administrators and the child’s legal custodian, physical custodian, or legal
    guardian.” The legislation also bans teachers from using “a nonwork-related website that allows exclusive access with a
    current or former student.”


WINNER: Ohio, the SUCKeye State (36.78%)

Ohio beat three-time champion FloriDUH by a single vote. So how did Ohio pull
off one of the Shiitake Awards’s biggest upsets?

Ohio was the first state to adopt the AWA. They spent $10 MILLION dollars
defending the Adam Walsh Act only to have their own Supreme Court tell them the
law was unconstitutional. TWICE. The privatization of the public registry has led to
a huge problem as well.


  1. Florida, The blow-SUNSHINE-up-your-@$$ state (35.63%): Barbara Farris, No Peace for Predators, the Lauren Book Act,
    the Sorrento residency law
  2. Alabama the Pitiful (19.54%): Alabama’s new Sorna law, the nursing home scare, the Birmingham anti-clustering law,
    chemical castration law proposed, should add their stupid anti-Hispanic law as an aside
  3. Missouri, The Blow Me State (8.05%): The teacher social networking restrictions, the ban on registrants buried in cemeteries
    of honor, and passing the Adam Walsh Act (now they want out)


WINNER: TX’s “Operation Chester”
(24.39% of the Vote)

Forgetting the fact that TX has over 4000 kids on
the registry, it is an intentional slight by a small
time hick sheriff’s office to use a derogatory
(albeit a slightly archaic term) term for a registered
person. When I emailed the Montgomery Co TX
Sheriff’s Office in regards to this offensive term, I
got a very curt response from Montgomery Co
TX deputy James Glisson.


  1. GA’s “Operation Storm Troupers”: If you immediately thought Star Wars and Darth Vader, my mind was on a more real evil
    dictator who had Storm Troopers and the Luftwaffe. [17.07%]
  2. NV’s “Operation Trick-or-Treat III”: Like any sequel, the trick is to NOT to make lame-assed sequels. Will there be a tired
    Trick-or-Treat IV with the same stupid plot as the first three? [12.20%]
  3. KS’s “Operation Tornado — Tracking Offender Registration Notification And Deterrence Operation”: What a fitting depiction
    on how this harassment destroys families and lives. [12.20%]
  4. West Pennsylvania’s “Operation Grand Slam:” Why name an operation after a Denny’s breakfast? Hell, if you want an accurate
    operation name tying in food and cops, how about Operation Dunkin’ Donuts instead? [9.76%]
  5. SC’s “Operation AWOL”: Are registrants in the army now? I wouldn’t fight for this country. Or is the point of the operation to
    encourage non-compliance? Maybe they’ll be hiding in the Denny’s ordering the Grand Slam. [6.10%]
  6. TX’s “Operation Fury”: So just to check on residences, the US Gestapo resorts to violent actions. They as well have named it
    “Operation Blitzkreig.” [6.10%]
  7. IL’s “Operation TALON”: I’m not sure what the “talon” stands for but buzzards have talons. Just a thought. [3.66%]
  8. MO’s “Operation LASER” (local Agencies Supervise and Enforce Registrations): I opt for Local OFFICERS Supervise and
    Enforce Registration Stupidity, or “LOSERS.” [3.66%]
  9. Ector Co., TX’s Registration, Enforcement, Apprehension and Prosecution team, or REAP team: They should rearrange the
    letters to form the word RAPE, seeing as how these laws are RAPE-ing the Constitution. [2.44%]
  10. SC’s “Operation Surefire”: This compliance check is a surefire way to look like the goons you are. Idiots. [1.22%]
  11. LA’s “Operation Summertime Blues”: At least in this case the pigs admit they are a bunch of downers [1.22%]