The 2010 Shiitake Awards
Background: The 2010 Shiitake Awards was the third awards show in our annual parody awards highlighting the dumbest “sex offender” stories of the year. The first show was hosted on OnceFallen’s defunct Talkshoe podcast ReFORM Radio, and in 2009, the first Shiitake Award show video awards was filmed in Alabama.
Video: The 2010 show, released in April 2011, was filmed in Cincinnati OH. It was an abbreviated video with a very brief skit of me waking up and getting ready for the awards show. No assistants were used in the video. The video was considerably shortened to fit within Youtube’s 10-minute limits (whereas the 2009 Awards show was broken into 2 videos).
Changes from the 2009 Awards: This was the first year the Shiitake Awards featured a “bonus” category, a category that would only appear for that one year. The bonus question for the 2010 show was which news network was the worst news network of the year (See below for the results). The deadline for submissions was moved up to November 30.
2010 SHIITAKE AWARDS WINNERS AND NOMINEES
2010 Worst Politico Award
WINNER: Ron and Lauren Book (40% of the vote)
Background: Does it seem fair to pit a duo against a single person? Not unless the second person acts as a puppet for someone else’s campaign. Ron Book, who finally succeeded in destroying his own Julia Tuttle Causeway camp, began a disturbing trend by running a rather dishonest fundraising campaign headed by Ron Book. They ran a victory lap across the entire state as they started their annual “Walk in my Shoes” marches. In the end, they passed more legislation that will ultimately create more problems than it solves. The Book Crime Family beat the Surviving Parents
Coalition by a single vote. This was Ron Book’s second award, and Lauren the Bimbo Book’s first.
2010 Worst Politico Award Dishonorable Mentions
- Nebraska AG Jon Bruning: (4% of the vote) Bruning called a defense attorney an “Apologist for sex offenders” and claimed a judge was “Out of control” after a district judge blocked part of a new sex offender law from being enforced.
- CA Gubernatorial Candidate Douglas Hughes: (4% of the vote) Hughes promised that, if elected, he would give convicted sex offenders three options– be exiled from California for life, remain in prison for life, or live on Santa Rosa Island (a self-supporting community for pedophiles and sexual offenders). Thankfully, he lost in a landslide.
- AL Gubernatorial Candidate Tim James: (2% of the vote) What is it with GOOBERnatorial candidates this year? Tim James gained notoriety this year for his infamous (and often spoofed) “This is Alabama- We Speak English” ad, but he was also running on a sex offender platform that included distorting the famed US Department of Justice statistics that show RSOs have by far the lowest recidivism rate. Thankfully he lost in the primaries.
- Surviving Parents Coalition (SPC): (37%) Not to be outdone by the Books, the SPC, a group run by Mark Lunsford, is a lobbyist group posing as a victim’s rights and resource center. Recently, they took the Book’s partial walk fundraiser and turned it into a partial bike ride across the country. The point of all this was to “raise a million dollars to walk the halls of Congress” to promote laws that have already passed. It was largely a commercial flop, as many are catching on to Lunsford’s schemes.
2010 Worst News Mutt Award
WINNER: Wendy Murphy (45%)
Background: To spoof Eminem, “Wendy’s back, back again, Wendy’s back, tell a friend…” After all, she’s got to defend her title, and to pair with fellow harpy Jane Velez-Mitchell. In an interview on HLN, Murphy invited viewers to “Be sure to look out for her upcoming book, ‘The Parent’s Guide to Raping a Pedophile With a Pitchfork,’ available on Amazon Kindle.” In addition to continuing to maintain all accused of sex crimes are automatically guilty, she still spews quotes to non-existent statistics while making a total ass of herself on TV.
2010 Worst News Mutt Dishonorable Mentions
- John G. Winder, The Cypress Times (2%): It is sad to see such ignorance and fear mongering coming from a Christian site, but reading “The Monster Next Door: The Plague of Sex Offenders” will leave little doubt as to why he was nominated. Any person who quotes Family Watchdog, scares people with comments about “blood red” dots and gratuitous use of the word “monster” should get a nomination. Granted, he published my retort, but you have no idea what I went through to get it publish it. I had to rewrite it multiple times, plus he was a major asshole about it, not allowing me to challenge his words or even allude to it.
- Rusty Ray, Big 3 News (2%): It seems pairs of similar people with similar agendas are the theme of 2010. Like Winder, Rusty Ray runs another independent faith-centered news media outlet, “Big 3 News.” Rusty gets a nomination for his article attacking one of his readers while quoting (the now defunct) slander site “Wikisposure” as a legitimate news source. Again, this proves why journalism is better left to professionals (though that is not a guarantee either)
- Lisa Guerrero, Inside Edition (13%): Interestingly, this nominee posed for the soft-core porn mag “Playboy” (a little fact she’s actually hoping people will forget someday). As part of the Inside Edition gossip show trying to pose as a serious report, Guerrero heckled sex offenders for… *gasp* having a job! She also did a show on McNeil Island (aka “Sex Offender Island,” a civil commitment center) and another fearmongering show, “The Predator Next Door” with Dr. Phil.
- Jim Moret, Inside Edition (4%): The other half of the Inside Edition duo. His nomination came from his opinion piece “Sex Predators – Trail Them or Jail Them.” He proposes microchip implants, or as he calls it, “a digital scarlet letter: P for Predator.” “Don’t whine about civil rights.” Can we put a microchip in him instead?
- Rick Roberts, KFMB 760 (2%): Roberts was nominated for a Shiitake Award but lost to Wendy Murphy, so apparently he was determined to win this year. He was so determined, in fact, he did an entire half hour long diatribe filled with blatant lies and misquoted stats, too many to post in fact.
- Randy Cauthron, Spencer Daily Reporter (4%): I’m never surprised by negative op ed pieces in local papers, but allegedly newspapers have a degree of journalistic integrity. So how is it a newspaper prints an article where it is suggested “one-bullet” legislation is the ideal? It promotes vigilantism. He also supports the sex offender island idea.
- Abbie Alford, Fox 23 Tulsa (0%): Abbie was punked by a guy in a “Pedobear” costume at a comic book convention. A poorly written article, Alford manages to distort the interview of the law enforcement agent, claiming Pedobear, a silly internet meme created to mock sex offender stereotypes, is now a “way for pedophiles to signify connection with one another.” And beware people in costumes, they’re all pedophiles trying to cop a feel.
- Jane Velez-Mitchell, CNN (26%): What nomination would be complete without one of the Harpies? Her show, “Issues,” should be called “Tissues,” as in Toilet tissue, because it is obvious she’s full of shiitake. In addition to getting TWO nominations for quote of 2010, Jane has become the only news personality to give major publicity to the unsuccessful Lunsford scheme “Ride For Their Lives.” She also supports vigilantism.
2010 Hardest Fall Awards
(Scandal of the Year)
WINNER: Crystal Mangum,
False Rape Accuser (37%)
Background: Remember the woman who falsely accused the three Duke Lacrosse
players of raping her? She ended up arrested in 2010 for attempting to murder
her boyfriend. In 2013, she was convicted of stabbing another boyfriend to death and was sentenced to 14 years.
2010 Hardest Fall Dishonorable Mentions
- Manuel Joseph Barraza, El Paso Criminal District Court Judge (16%): The former judge was convicted in Federal court on charges of accepting bribes and sexual favors in exchange for favorable outcomes in cases he worked. Talk about working fast– he was only on the bench 3 months before his arrest. He is famous for being the defense attorney for “The Night Stalker.” He received a 5-year sentence in federal prison.
- Eric Massa, Rep. (D-NY) (13%): Massa resigned from Congress around the time he was accused of sexually harassing a male aide, though he claims he had already planned on retiring and his decision had nothing to do with the accusations. More accusations have surfaced and while he apologized publicly for the original complain he denies the rest.
- Neil Cohen, New Jersey Assemblyman (32%): Another politician who exploited sex offender panic then gets caught doing the same thing; his focus was child pornography. Cohen faced up to 5 years in prison for distributing child pornography. Much like Mark Foley, he checked into a hospital after the charges were made public.
2010 Everyday Zeroes (Vigilante Fails) Award
WINNER: Barbara Farris, FL (75%)
Background: Barbara Farris gained notoriety as a vigilante harassing registrants at their homes. Farris has everything we expect in this category– notoriety, stupidity, and the fact she lives in Florida. She was arrested in Alabama for Menacing; Farris
claims the charges were dropped. She never learned her lesson– she is facing more charges of harassment and impersonating a police officer.
2010 Everyday Zeroes Dishonorable Mentions:
- Jasen D. Bruce, Florida (12%): Marine reservist turned pharmacist and wannabe model, Bruce attacked a Greek Orthodox priest who stopped and asked him for directions. Bruce, who beat the priest with a tire iron, claimed the priest was a “robber, terrorist, and molester.” Can’t we ship him to Iraq or something? By the way, he’s from Florida, what does that tell you?
- David Griffon, California (6%): This man assaulted and robbed a sex offender and attempted to rob another registrant before being taken down by the police. He faces multiple charges, including assault, trespassing, vandalism, burglary, and assault with a deadly weapon. He used the Megan’s Law website to choose his victims.
2010 Dumbest Quote Award
WINNER: Wendy Murphy (42%)
Background: Wendy Murphy wins her second award of the year and third Shiitake overall for THIS quote— “Something like 2% of all sex offenders are on the registries. That’s a problem, that number should be much higher…The problem is not the registry, it’s that he was convicted of a sex crime which is a public record and who are you to tell the public they can’t judge rapists harshly? If they want forgiveness and redemption, it would be awfully good if when they get out, they can do something other than hide and pretend they never committed the crime, because you can never be forgiven if you put it under a rock. Registries are good because they allow for some possibility of social forgiveness, and honesty helps.”
2010 Dumbest Quote Dishonorable Mentions
- Richard Jones, Butler Co. OH Sheriff (7%): “Every one of these crimes you see in the U.S. where somebody’s been viciously attacked or raped or molested, probably 90 percent of them have done this again or on the registered list somewhere, and there’s been no follow-up, or been missing.”
- Kenneth Nail, Hanceville, AL Mayor (7%): “We have had, in the past, folks just sitting there at the swimming pool looking, and we didn’t really feel they were up to any good. Research on the history of sexual predators shows that many of them are going to scope out playgrounds; they’re going to scope out parks. And the council and I just did not want the convicted sex offenders sitting in our parks. If we realize someone is a sex offender sitting in our park, we’re going to arrest them.”
- Ernie Allen, NCMEC (16%): “Lessening those kinds of restrictions is dangerous – it could lead to more crime, more offenders. We know that sex offenders who prey upon children do well in prison because there aren’t temptations there. These guys get into the community, they begin to fantasize as they encounter kids in the community, and they lead to new offenses.”
- Wendy Murphy, Legal Analyst, Quote #2 (25%): “I want you to know, I have a new book coming out Jane. You want another title? ‘Parent’s Guide to How to Rape a Pedophile with a Pitchfork’; I’m going to publish it tomorrow. You know what I’m saying?”
2010 Holy Shiitakes Award (Silliest SO-related story)
WINNER: Bettie Young Books to publish vigilante’s book (29%)
Background: Bettie Young Books announced they were going to publish a book by that idiot Judy Cornett, who many believe is Jacey of Absolute Zero United. I’d call for a boycott, but then again, how many of you have actually read a Bettie Young book?
2010 Holy Shiitake Award Dishonorable Mentions
- Woman makes bestiality pic for revenge, charged with CP (6%): Danette Stark, 37, is behind bars facing 18 counts of sexual exploitation of a minor. Prosecutors say she Photoshopped the 13-year-old girl’s yearbook photo with a pornographic picture. “This flier was a very realistic depiction that was very graphically displaying a young woman engaged in sex acts with an animal…” Prosecutors say Stark made dozens of copies of the fliers that also included several profane and derogatory terms at the bottom of the fliers.
- San Luis Abispo PD (CA) Begins the Pedobear Scare (24%): I’m still wondering if this was some kind of joke by the SLAPD, but there is an actual press release by the SLAPD warning us of “pedophiles” dressed as Pedobear. For those who don’t know, Pedobear was an internet meme used by certain websites to point out comments made about kids that sound sexual in nature. By the time Shiitake News Mutt nominee Abbie Alford reported on it, Pedobear became a secret society logo for underground pedophiles. Seriously, does anyone check their facts these days?
- Avenel NJ Adult Diagnostic and Treatment Center’s mock electrocution (12%): Three workers and an inmate staged a mock electrocution in order to strike fear into the heart of one of the residents, a sex offender with a history of mental illness, a week before his release date. The workers involved were suspended and transferred but not criminally charged.
- Republican Nat’l Committee says Obama hires Sex Offender Defenders (27%): Want to start a personal attack against a fellow politico? Simply claim the opponent is soft on sex offenders. I’m no fan of Obama, but the Republicans, the very people who gave us Mark Foley, claims Obama hires “sex offender defenders.” They even launched a website, Obama versus Constitution, to spread their attacks.
2010 Stupid Legal Tricks/ Dumbest New Law Award
WINNER: HR 1623, “International Megan’s Law” (66%):
Background: H.R. 1623 mandates reporting requirements for convicted sex offenders intending to engage in international travel, providing advance notice of intended travel by risk sex offenders outside the United States to the government of the country of destination, preventing entry into the United States by any foreign sex offender against a minor. In reality, it is the first step in barring registrants from travel altogether. It would not pass until 2016 but the law actually worsened between the time the law won the award and the time it was signed into law.
2010 Stupid Legal Tricks/ Dumbest New Law Dishonorable Mentions
- The FY 2010 Consolidated Appropriations Act (5%): Included $1.1 TRILLION in reckless spending, but the clincher is giving $353.5 MILLION to the Adam Walsh Act!
- Missouri SB774, the “Body Fluid Assault” bill (5%): Makes a crime specific to sex offenders in civil commitment centers, making it felony for inmates to sling body fluids (spit, feces, or urine, etc.) at officers; it is a Class C felony, and the intent is to send civilly committed inmates back to prison. It passed.
- West Virginia HB3102, Sex Offender Fees pays for police retirement (11%): A BILL to amend the Code of West Virginia, 1931, as amended, by adding thereto a new section, designated §15-12-2c, relating to requiring sex offenders to pay a fee which is to be deposited into the State Police Retirement Fund. Failure to pay gets up to 10 days in jail and a $100 fine.
- HR 5072 The FHA Reform Act of 2010 (11%): If passed, will deny sex offenders with minors as victims from obtaining FHA loans (unless Amendment 12 of the FHA Reform Act is removed)
2010 ICBS National CHUMPionship/
Worst State Award
WINNER: FLORIDUH (66%)
Background: It shouldn’r surprise anyone FloriDUH three-peated as Nat’l chumps,. After all, Florida gave us the Books, the “Walk in my Shoes” rally, Senator Aronberg’s double talk, Barbara Farris and other crazed vigilantes, and the destruction of the Bookville/ JTC camp, only to have them sleeping in a parking lot.
2010 Worst State Dishonorable Mentions
- CALIFORNIA, THE MOLDEN STATE (26%): Cali had a famous actor for a governor in 2010. Too bad the “Gropinator” sucks worse at acting like a governor than acting in general. The Golden state had grown stale, but with budget shortfalls in the billions, the state decided instead of balancing the budget, they focused on “Chelsea’s Law,” the worst legislation since Prop 83. Oh, don’t forget Cali has a vigilante representing them in the Everyday Zeroes.
- MARYLAND, THE SAME OLD LINE STATE (8%): I’m almost ashamed to admit I was born there. As the underdog of this fight, Maryland didn’t get the amount of attention the big states in this category received, but they broke all manners of records by introducing 85 pieces of legislature targeting sex offenders. That’s right. Eighty-five. Like Cali, the legislation was prompted by a high-profile case, but instead of one big bomb like Cali’s Chelsea’s law, Maryland decided on quantity approach.
BONUS CATEGORY! Worst Major News Network of
WINNER: FAUX News (66%)
Background: The registry reform groups are shockingly right-leaning, but that does not mean there is a lot of trust for the news network seen as the original purveyors of fake news.
Ranking the major news channels from worst to… Not as bad but they still suck
- Fox News (Faux News): 66%
- HLN (Howling Ladies Network/ CNN (Crappy News Network): 15%
- NBC (Nothing But Crap): 9%
- ABC (A Bunch of Crap): 3%
- CBS (See-BS): 3%
- Other: 1%